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Redefining Single: The Unseen Bliss of Being Happily Unattached

In a world where everyone's obsessed with finding 'the one,' choosing to stay single can sometimes feel like you're waving a big 'I'm okay with being lonely' flag. People might look at you and say, 'You're just being defensive, because deep down, you're sad,' or even worse, 'Sus! You're just saying the exact opposite of how you feel.' But you know what? It turns out that being single is actually quite joyful. Yes, you heard it right, ang saya pala! Of course, initially there's sadness, especially during the moving-on process. But afterwards? I found a kind of peace and happiness I wouldn't trade for anything else.

Let me take you back a bit. It's been three years since I separated from my husband. The journey of singlehood didn't start easy. There were rough patches, heartaches, and countless moments of self-doubt. But as the saying goes, 'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger,' and that's precisely what happened.

Co-parenting didn't kick in until last year. Most of the financial obligations fell onto my shoulders as I had a larger income. There were times when this reality felt overwhelming, and I'd be lying if I said it didn't sometimes feel unfair. But I realized the most valuable thing my ex-husband could offer was his presence in our kids' lives. More than the money, what I asked of him was simple: 'Just please be present in all school activities and life events, date the kids, and be a part of their lives.' Because when it comes down to it, that's what really matters. And, to his credit, he hasn't let the kids down. He has stepped up and proven to be an awesome father to them. (Kaya lang I need cash charot!) Kidding aside, his involvement has eased the load of solo parenting and brought a different kind of joy to our kids' lives.

Fast forward to my personal journey, I can't deny there were so many moments of loneliness. There were problems that seemed insurmountable, times when I wished I had a partner to share the burden. I felt a strong yearning, a void, but I soon realized what I was actually grappling with was a lack of genuine acceptance.

When I finally acknowledged my reality as a single mother, something profound happened. I began to see the strength within me, a resilience I hadn't recognized before. I started to celebrate my small wins, to find joy in the moments of triumph that came from navigating this journey on my own. It wasn't about denying the tough times, but rather recognizing that those challenges were shaping me into the strong, independent woman I am today.

The true turning point came when I embraced my situation, not as a compromise or a fallback, but as a genuine choice. And let me tell you, there's a powerful joy in that acceptance. Ang saya pala! It's in these moments that I discovered contentment and peace in my singlehood that I wouldn't trade for anything else. Here's why:

Some people have told me, 'Your husband will come back to you, sayo pa din yan uuwi balang araw' or 'You'll find someone new who will accept you and your children.' But then I started asking myself, 'Why should I want that?' Why would I risk going through all that pain again? For a complete family? For a fairytale ending? Then, the answer is "No. Huwag na lang."

I decided that it's better if he doesn't come back, rather than put myself through the cycle of suffering and tears once more. It's okay if no one else comes along, if it means I don't have to experience that self-pity and heartache again. It's alright if I am alone and have no partner, if it means my hard-earned self-confidence and peace won't be shattered again. Bakit ko namang pipiliing madurog ulit? Ang tagal kong binuo ang sarili ko para sa mga anak ko. It took me countless nights to rebuild myself. If I allow myself to be broken again, I can never be whole for my children. I can't be the best parent I can be.

My journey taught me that I'm not just living for myself - I'm living for my children as well. And to be the best mother I can be, I need to be the best version of myself. That means protecting my peace, nurturing my self-worth, and maintaining my independence. It means choosing a path that not only allows me to be happy, but also allows me to provide a stable and loving environment for my children.

And that's the unseen bliss of being happily unattached. It's beautiful!

Let's redefine what it means to be single. It's not a sad, lonely state. I know so many single friends who are genuinely happy. They're not looking for sympathy because they've found their own path to happiness. It's about time we understand that being single is not a deficit, but a different kind of fulfillment.

So next time you encounter a single person esp. a single parent, don't pity them. And yung mga wala pang jowa, don't pressure them to find the one! They might have discovered that same unseen bliss I have. They may have realized that being single isn't about being alone, but rather about embracing self-love, self-reliance, and the incredible freedom to shape their own destiny.

Yes, being happily unattached is real, and it's beautiful. So let's not cloud it with misconceptions. Instead, let's celebrate it for the wonderful and empowering choice it can truly be. So, let's redefine singlehood, one spa day, and travel itinerary at a time. LOL! Cheers to being single and absolutely loving it!

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